Growing Up: How Sam May Have Seen It
So, this gif set got me thinking. For the first ten years or so of his life, Sam saw himself as the center of Dean’s universe. And why wouldn’t he? Dean was always there — from scraped knees to making dinner, chasing away nightmares to wiping runny noses, helping with homework to entertaining on rainy days. And then one day these random girls started appearing that Dean would look at and touch in a way that was bewildering and strange. It must have been inexplicable and hurtful. He must have felt lonely and abandoned when Dean clearly wanted to give his attention to some stranger instead of Sam. He’d chase Sammy out of the room with a “go do your homework” or leave him in a crappy pizza joint with clowns. Sam had to wonder what he’d done wrong. Maybe, Sam running away was as much a vie for Dean’s attention as it was an attempt to get away from hunting. Maybe leaving for Stanford was just a little bit because he felt abandoned first. Dean discovering girls had to have knocked Sammy’s world off its axis. I’m not saying Dean did anything wrong. He did what was entirely natural for a teenage boy, but to a little kid whose world was his older brother, it must have been hard. Dean didn’t get it because he’s never understood how important he was/is to Sam.